Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
