I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
