i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
