remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
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