I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
