Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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