My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
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