You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize