Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
