Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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