come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
