repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
