so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
She even gives head with a lisp.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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