I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize