don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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