Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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