Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize