she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
