Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
