He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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