I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
