I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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