Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
