You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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