I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
