the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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