Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
