Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
