I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
