I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize