Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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