that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
