you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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