What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
