He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
there is glitter all over my balls
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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