I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
