Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
