jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
