Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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