I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
