i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
now i know why i became what i already was.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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