you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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