quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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