Walk of Shame. In a state park.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
