ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
