Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize