we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
