Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
