So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
