I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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