It's a beautiful day for a hangover
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
