Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Randomize
