I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
