She said her name was "party"
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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