somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
