After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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