Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize