We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
