Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
