dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
This is my gift to your gina
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
