I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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