Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Actions speak louder than pants.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
