I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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