I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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