The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
