Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
