Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
