honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You don't make any sense
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