Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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