hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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